I took a photo of the faded red door propped against a table at the auction house because I thought the name painted on it was both amusing and a bit repulsive.
‘Road Kill Café.’
Never would I want to eat in a place with such a name – even if it didn’t actually serve roadkill. I can imagine sitting at a table eating a burger as the image of a dead deer invades my thoughts. Ugh.
I wasn’t sure if the door once opened into an actual restaurant, but I was curious about whether there were cafes advertising the stuff we see lying dead on the side of the road. Googling, I found several – none of which serve roadkill; that would be both unsanitary and disallowed by health officials.
One restaurant came up often in my search, the RoadKill Café in Seligman, AZ. It is located on the famous Route 66 roadway that runs 2,400 miles east to west across the country. The restaurant’s slogan “You Kill It, We Grill it” was obviously a joke. Its menu bore whimsical names for classic diner dishes: Big Bagged Stag (sirloin steak), Long Gone Fawn (ribeye steak), Chicken that Almost Crossed The Road (fried chicken) and Roadside Remnants (popcorn shrimp).
A Roadkill Café in Artemas, PA, didn’t even bother with the cutesy names. It is what it is: waffles, French toast, pancakes for breakfast; shrimp, chicken, turkey and the usual sides for dinner.
In case you can’t get to either of these places, you may want to look a bit closer the next time you pass a dead deer near the road. If you hit it and you know it’s fresh, you may be able to pull over and put that high-protein organic meat in the car for weeks of dinners.
You can do it in some states and not in others. Pennsylvania is among the states that allows you to stop – carefully – to remove roadkill deer or turkey fit for eating and take it home. Before you can start butchering it, though, state law requires you to contact the Game Commission within 24 hours for a free permit. You also must hand over those parts of the animal that are inedible, such as a deer’s antlers. The state passed its law in 2017, and more than 3,300 permits were requested.
It is one of the top three states with the most deer-car collisions, behind West Virginia and Montana, according to a 2018 nationwide study by State Farm. Drivers in West Virginia were the most likely (as they have been for the last 12 years). They have a one in 46 chance of hitting a large animal (such as a deer, elk, moose or caribou); Montana, one in 57, and Pennsylvania, one in 63. The accidents occur mostly during the animals’ mating-season months of October, November and December.
In Alaska, your chances are less (one in 407) but you can more readily retrieve the meat. For 50 years, Alaskans have been able to pick up any roadkill, without hindrances. In fact, state troopers who are notified of moose-car collisions have a list of charities and families they call to pick up the meat.
For most of us, though, there is still a stigma about eating meat left on the side of the road.
As for that door at auction, I’m certain someone bought it as a conversation piece. And I’m sure that it was the closest they’ll come to taking home the real thing.
