The unfolded papers were rather undistinguished, so much so that I had laid them to the side as I rummaged through a box of photos. They were old family photos in those lovely paper frames with the name of the photo studio on some of them.
I was returning the photos and papers to the box when I started to read one of the sheets. They were gray from age, and had once been folded like a letter, but now they lay flat and open with the inscription plainly in view. The message was written in a fancy script.
“Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of Rev. J.M. Carpenter, from his late residence, No. 5 Federal Street, Burlington, on Wednesday, Jan. 29th at 9 a.m. Services at the Baptist Church, Jacobstown, at 12 m. Carriages will meet the funeral at Bordentown, on the arrival of the train leaving Philadelphia at 9 o’clock. January 25, 1890.”
Now, I was sufficiently intrigued, so I had to read another:
“Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of Louie W. (or M.), infant son of T.W. and Annie Rogers, from the residence of his parents, in New Egypt, on Wednesday the 16th, inst., at 10 o’clock A.M. Services in the M.E. Church, at 11 o’clock, A.M. Interment at Jacobstown. November, 14th, 1881.”
These were funeral invitations for husbands, wives and children, and apparently had been sent to the man whose name was written on the back of several of them. I assumed that these and other items up for auction that day were from his home, and he had kept these as keepsakes. There were invitations both on plain note paper and on cards bordered in black.
All of the invitations contained the same basic wording, and they were likely provided by a funeral home. The deceased’s name was always in large bold type. By keeping his invitations, the man gave me a peek into one of the rituals of funerals in the late 19th century: funeral invitations and cards, as well as the arrival of carriages for folks coming in from out of town.
I love combing through papers and documents – called ephemera – because they show how connected we and our own practices are to those in the past. Who doesn’t keep funeral programs of loved ones and friends? I have several stashed away in a folder in a file cabinet of family members who were dear to me, and I have probably displaced just as many.
No one sends out funeral invitations or cards anymore – or do they? – but they seemed to have been the norm during the Victorian period of the late 19th century. Some families sent out funeral cards, memorial cards and invitations with information about the deceased, along with the time and place of the funeral. They were bordered in black, and were given to friends and family. Some served as tickets to the funeral. And they could be rather fancy – not as plain as the ones at auction, which likely came from families of modest means.
In large cities, one site noted, friends and family could be alerted to a funeral by a mention in the local newspaper, but in small towns, invitations on “small-sized note paper, with wide black border” were sent out.
As for the carriages, Emily Post noted in a 1922 column on funeral etiquette:
“In the country where relatives and friends arrive by train, carriages or motors must be provided to convey them to the house or church or cemetery. If the clergyman has no conveyance of his own, he must always be sent for, and if the funeral is in a house, a room must be set apart for him in which to change his clothes.”
Some black families also issued invitations, cards and notices that contained such information as church and lodge memberships, family members, burials and date of deaths. Here are some notices and invitations.
Funerals themselves have evolved over the years. During the 19th century, people died much younger and many of the deaths occurred at home, most commonly after an illness, according to one account. Family members attended the dead, washing them, dressing them and laying them out for the viewing in the home. Mourners came to the deceased’s home (and not to a funeral home) to pay their respects – as noted in the invitations at auction.
By the end of the century, undertakers and funeral directors had assumed the task of coming to homes and preparing the bodies, and making all the other arrangements.
Embalming had taken hold long before then. It was used often during the Civil War when families wanted their soldiers’ bodies shipped home rather than being buried in makeshift graves. It gained even more popularity after the death of President Lincoln, whose embalmed body made a 20-day trek across the country by train so mourners could pay their respects.
The funeral industry began to develop in the 1880s and embalming schools opened. Funeral directors advertised their services and formed their own organization. It also opened up new opportunities for African Americans, newly freed from slavery with few skills. They set up their own funeral parlors, created mutual aid societies and burial leagues, whose membership dues were used to pay for the costs of illnesses and funerals.
At auction, the box of photos and funeral invitations sold for $20.
