One thing I’ve learned at auction is that there’s a buyer for everything. Something I wouldn’t purchase in a million years could be snapped up by someone who’s been looking for that same piece since forever.
There’s no accounting for taste and comfort – either mine or anyone else’s.
But I have to draw the line sometimes. I don’t sit on fabric chairs – not even for a second – or test out used mattresses at auction. Why not? Bed bugs. Other people’s fluids. Other people’s dirt. Other people’s anything.
They don’t seem sanitary to me.
And unsanitary was on my mind last weekend when I spotted a dark brown sectional sofa at one of my favorite auction houses. The sofa fell into the category of how much would you tolerate for comfort. Also at the auction house was another item that fell into a different category: sophistication or the lack thereof.
A sectional sofa
It was monstrous, taking up a wide swath of floor not quite in the center of an auction room but close enough not to be missed. Without whispering a word, this abandoned piece of furniture beckoned people to come over, try it out, take it home.
My auction buddy Janet and I resisted. We were not listening. We could not fathom sitting on the thing, much less leaving there with it on the back of a truck. “It looks so bad,” she said, emphatically.
It had chocolate brown cushions with red and gold accents. The cushions looked worn and dingy, and were probably even more grimy because the color likely masked the dirt embedded in them. The leather strip around the bottom looked as if it had once been tan but had been worn down to the black foundation from years of calves rubbing against it.
Surprisingly, the sofa wasn’t tattered or torn. But it had the weary look of having been the children’s play space, dad and buddies’ Sunday football fanny rest, the dog’s curl-up-on-a-pillow snooze spot and mom’s hideaway.
No one but Janet and me seemed to care how it looked cosmetically. The sofa drew people like flies to a southern pig barbecue (I can say that because I’m southern and my family loves the pig).
One man, a regular auction-goer, sat down on the sofa to watch an auction in progress. Within a few minutes, he was nodding off. Then he actually fell asleep. I guess if nothing else, the sofa was comfortable.
At the far end to his left, an unhealthily obese man munched on a hot dog. (This was one sofa I’d never sit on with food in my hands.) Soon, a woman and her daughter dropped by to take photos: “It’s nice,” she said to the little girl.
I was curious about how much the sofa would sell for, given all the attention it was attracting. When the auctioneer finally got to it, he was trailed by his usual cadre of furniture buyers. As he started the bidding, his assistant plomped down on the sofa, stretching out her legs to show how comfortable it was.
What was it with that sofa? Why was it such a hit? It sold for $60, but it’ll be a bear to take home.
An ultra-modern bedroom set
“I saw a man take a picture and overheard him on the phone telling someone about the set,” Janet said to me. And I knew exactly what set she was referring to.
You couldn’t miss it when you rounded the corner to the large open room in the auction house. It wasn’t your Ikea ultra modern bedroom set. This one had a dated feel.
It appeared to be a 1970s-style plastic bedroom set with all the pieces: a huge bed, huge headboard with mirror, huge side cabinet with mirror. It even came with its own mattress, which in fact appeared to be very clean.
In fact, this set did not assault my eyes as much as the sofa because it was so clean and the previous owner had obviously treated it kindly. Next to it was a dining room set with seven lavender fabric chairs, two tall and wide floor lamps and a sofa table. They likely came from the same estate.
Like the sofa, the bedroom set drew a lot of lookers, especially among one group of people who didn’t seem to leave it all day. It was among the last items sold at auction. The auctioneer started high – “This is a $10,000 set,” he said – but bidders were waiting for low.
The man who made the phone call got the bedroom set for $320. The dining room set went for $80, the sofa table $50 and the two lamps $60.
